I've mentioned before that God speaks to me through the most interesting of songs, which I have shared here before.
Well, He's done it again.
This one was different.
In a 'my heart is STILL racing' kinda different.
I spent the morning with God on a walk along the rivers at the Forks after I dropped Sean off for work at 8 am. I knew I wouldn't get to sleep in on my day off, even if I came home after the drop off, so I wanted to make the most of the stillness of the early morning. He works right near the Forks, which has been a favorite place, both for relaxation and meeting God, and I don't get many opportunities to walk in the rain, which I love, so I knew I had to take this walk. I didn't hear as much as I hoped in the hour.
He was preparing my heart.
Then I met a dear friend for breakfast and chat. When I say dear friend, I feel like I can't possibly convey how special this friend is to me. I have begun to realize God has knit my soul with certain friends, like He did with David and Jonathan, but with others it has been a slower progression, partly because of my lack of understanding and partly because of less frequent interactions. But this soul tie has been so instant and deep it's been undeniably orchestrated. And as the relationship has unfolded it is obvious why, we are so knit together on so many levels. We can talk for eternity it seems, we got kicked out of the restaurant after 3 hours because they were too busy, and we weren't finished! I told her about my God mix tapes, she was telling me about seeing Jesus, especially the heavenly Jesus, not earthly Jesus...in ALL his splendid glory. We talked and talked and talked...so much shared and revealed and confirmed. Sigh :) Maybe another day I'll have more to share. But for now, I'm focusing on the mix tape.
So, after I dropped her off I had half an hour until Sean was off work, I parked in his company's lot and decided to turn on my worship playlist and spend some time getting into the presence of Jesus again. I had realized in our conversation that I needed much more solitude to get that FULL presence, which I hadn't received on my walk. I have spent time with Jesus in "our field" before, but what I have struggled with is actually looking into His eyes, I just can't bring myself to look into the eyes of my Lord. I can see His bright, playful smile but my eyes won't lift to meet His. My friend was describing looking into His eyes and I've been hoping I will be able to experience that as well, sooner than later! So anyway, the first worship song comes on.
The second song starts playing and I realize it's playing from 'All Songs' not my 'Worship' playlist.
The song was, 'What If God Was One Of Us'. (I like this recent version best!)
I let it play because I love it and decided after I would switch back to my playlist.
I never got that far.
I was hit by a wave of emotion when I heard...
"If you were faced with him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question"
Wow. His glory. Just like my friend was talking about.
And the question.
This reminded me of this video I watched a few month ago that had really moved me. It's quite long but SO worth watching. God asked Kim Walker of Jesus Culture to ask Him 2 questions, and it's a truly heart-moving encounter with God! The encounter part starts at about 26 min. but the first part is very interesting too :) So anyway, it is in fact my same dear friend that told me about this video, and we often talk about treasuring what we learned from what God showed Kim and applying it to how God sees us. We had just earlier mentioned it again.
So, my heart in those few words was immediately opened wide to Him and that's when I heard...
"If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe"
That's when I saw Him. Just like my friend had, in all His glory. The golden light from His face blinded me though, and I couldn't see any features. I could only see His body, robed, and His arms kept lifting to the music, like He was orchestrating or creating it! I began sobbing in convulsions - but just in my chest with tears rolling down my face.
I couldn't even hear the rest of the song, I was just so overcome.
It makes me want more yet I'm not sure I can handle more! An experience I won't forget any time soon. Hopefully never.